The New In Thing In Convoluted Grammar

Have you noticed that people are taking group singular pronouns and acting as if they are plural? It's happening everywhere. 

We are happy to report that the staff are working 88 hours a week. 

Huh?

I understand that in England they do that. But honestly, people, it should be either:

We are happy to report that staff members are working 88 hours a week.
or
We are happy to report that the staff is working 88 hours a week.

I'm trying to let go of this, because we are indeed a global village. But I think if you're going to misuse these pronouns, you ought to be aware of it, and repent.

Semicolons - All You Need to Know

I found this article on The Writer's Circle. No more need we fear an impending semicolon.

We learned this is first grade.

Thank you all for coming I just want to let you know that I'm sorry I didn't show up it was Siri's fault she didn't remind me about my book signing.


Has no one heard of ending a sentence with a period and beginning the new sentence with a capital letter? 

How about: Thank you all for coming. I just want to let you know that I'm sorry I didn't show up. It was Siri's fault. She didn't remind me about my book signing.

Please and Thank You

...are good things, and the world needs to be a kinder place. But in technical writing such as

instructions,  protocol charts, signage, and how-to memos, we are actually being kinder by leaving out please and thank you. Have mercy on your reader - they are not reading your copy because it is the next New York Times bestseller. They're reading it because they have to, to get something else done. There's no room for "Have a nice day" in any corner of the technical writing galaxy. Let your reader get the information and get on with their life.

Too Much
Please remember to check the top of the toaster oven before using it, so we don't catch our plastic duck collection on fire. Besides, plastic smells bad when it burns. Thank you.

Just Right
Clear the ducks off the toaster oven before using.

***

Too Much
After you hear the three beeps, please press star two (*2) in order to ensure that your message doesn't get erased if you then decide to go in again and revise it. Thanks!

Just Right
Press *2 after you hear the 3 beeps.

***

Too Much
I know we're all super busy these days, but we absolutely must remember to log our overhead announcements on the Overhead Announcement Log. Please initial this so I know you have read it. Thanks, guys.

Just Right
Have you logged your overhead announcement?

(c) 2015 Suzann Kale

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Just Saying

Dear Bank of xxxxxxxxx:

Thank you for your email alerting me to the weekend outage for Bill Pay. However, it's important, when sending information to your customers, to use correct grammar. 

You wrote: "During this time, Bill Pay will be unavailable however payments made Fridayevening and throughout the day Monday will be processed normally..." 

Who wrote this? Why didn't anyone proofread it before sending it out to your customers? 

After "...will be unavailable" there should be a period - and the word "however" should begin a new sentence, which means it should be capitalized. After "however" there should be a comma. It should read: "During this time, Bill Pay will be unavailable. However, payments made Friday evening and throughout the day Monday will be processed normally..."

This is basic grade school English. As a Bank of xxxxxxxx customer, I would hope that you guys know how to write basic sentences.

Sorry if I seem harsh. This is just worrisome.

Sincerely,

Tags: Businss Writing, Editing, Grammar, Proofreading, Punctuation

Insure vs Ensure

According to The New York Times, "insure" is used in all instances. I don't think "ensure" is even a word to them. Yet other style protocols, Writer's Digest for example, use "insure" for financial things and "ensure" for personal accountability things (Admin wants to ensure your happiness.).

The main criteria for an individual, then, would be: 

1. Consistency. Just like spelling "theater" or "theatre". Decide which you're going to use, and then keep to it.

2. Company policy. If your company has a style sheet, that's your guide.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: grammar, spelling, syntax, insure vs ensure

This is an actual instruction on a website that provides critical alerts and medical pagers. People's lives depend on these instructions being accurate and easy-to-follow:

If you are a (name of company) user you may still page by 7 digit pager number simply leave the area code blank you may also still page by name simply type name in pager field.

A sentence ends with a period and the next sentence starts with a capital letter. If you work for any company, anywhere, that provides any sort of services of any kind, be sure your documents are written coherently. 

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: sentence structure, grammar, punctuation, writing styles, business writing, technical writing, editing, proofreading

Make It Concise

Even if you're writing something as quick as a 2-sentence email, there's no need to be sloppy. Here's how to make your tiny blurbs earn their keep.

Before:
Team Members: Please see the attached document, post at all positions’, (Guidelines for values). 

After:

Team Members: New "Guidelines" document is attached. Please post.

Before: 

Please if anyone has any issues, questions, or concerns please ask me, if I cannot answer I will ask my mentors, and use resources’ to answer anyone’s questions.

I advise against asking your co -worker Please come directly to me, I have 4 or 5 different ways of being reached if not in the office.    This will eliminate any misunderstandings you may encounter.

After:

Let me know if you have any concerns.

Before:

My goal is to keep everyone working together.  ( I will be delegating each team member , a department responsibility).  Since we are a team this will unite our department.

Some members of our staff asked for a job specific responsibility, I agree it will promote a united front.     ("A house divided will fall"). 

After:

I will be giving each team member a specific responsibility.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: business writing, technical writing, verbage, punctuation, grammar, syntax

Lose the Excess

One way to trim down excess verbage is to locate every "very" and "really" in your copy, and delete them. It's fast and easy: Just plug those words into your Find/Replace program. I guarantee, you will not miss a one of them!

Other words to consider deleting, especially in business or technical writing:
well
so (sometimes, not all the time)
just (when used as an adverb)
any adverb that duplicates what the verb has already said ("No yawning sleepily in the meeting.")
suddenly
finally

After you've written your memo, email, flyer, brochure, or instruction book, do a read-through for the specific purpose of deleting unnecessary words. You'll find yourself with sleek copy that's easy to read and understand.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: adverbs, grammar, syntax, business writing, technical writing, verbs

Avoiding Random Apostrophes

So many apostrophes swinging in the wind, floating randomly at the end of things, unable to latch on to anything coherent.

Before you attach one of these random waifs to any part of your memo, email, announcement, or article, hold back. Pause. Think it through. Only attach it if it makes sense.

Before:

Team Members: The stock rooms  at both the Jackson and Whitehall campus’ will be closed on Monday.

After:

Team Members: The stock rooms at both the Jackson and Whitehall campuses will be closed on Monday.

To make something plural, you generally do not add an apostrophe. The plural of campus is campuses. If in doubt, Google it. 

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: punctuation, grammar, apostrophes, plural, business writing, technical writing

Discarding Excess Verbage

It started with technical writing, then became the standard for business writing: a slimmed-down style, with absolutely no baggage. 

Two things are needed when writing memos, emails, procedures, instructions, web content:

1. Precision

2. Extreme editing.

Take the following copy:

Well, it's easy. All you have to do is just find the arrow button - either direction will do - and push it until the three-digit identification number appears on the screen.

And transform it into:

Push the arrow button until you see the 3-digit number.

What a relief not to have to slog through a huge conversation, right?

Here's another "before":

Team Members: It has come to my attention that we are still putting items on top of the toaster oven. Please remember that this is a fire hazard, and put your stuff in your desk, or even in the bottom file drawer which is usually empty. Thank you.

And its "after":

Team Members: Anything placed on top of the toaster oven will be annihilated immediately.

How to do it: Write your copy just as you normally would, complete with excess commas, emotional rants, and run-on sentences. Then go through it like we've done here, and take out anything that is not absolutely necessary. Keep in mind what you want to tell people, and save everything else for your novel-in-progress.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: business writing, technical writing, grammar, syntax, editing, proofreading, verbage, precision 

Who's versus Whose

The easiest way to remember which one to use, is to take the one with the apostrophe and extend it out so it's not contracted, and see if it makes sense.

Who's = who is

So if your sentence reads: "[Who's / Whose] toast burned in the microwave?", we see that "whose" is the one we have to use. Why? Because "Who is toast burned in the microwave?" doesn't make sense.

"[Who's / Whose] that handsome firefighter?" would have to be "Who is that handsome firefighter?" because that's the only one of the two that makes sense.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: syntax, grammar, who's versus whose, apostrophe

Trending: Random Caps

"Just because everyone jumps off the Empire State Building doesn't mean you have to," my

mother often said.

What she meant was, just because the advertising agencies capitalize letters in the middle of sentences for no apparent reason, doesn't mean we should copy them.

I wrote a letter to an ad agency complaining about random capitalizations. They wrote back and said they do that on purpose, to emphasize certain words.

But people have simply copied that idea, capitalizing things that the writer deems important. For example, I saw this the other day:

Team Members: If you use the Microwave, be sure to clean it after making Popcorn.

Do not capitalize random nouns, even if you think they're important. 

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: grammar, capital letters

Inter-office Emails and the Run-On Sentence

It's a matter of being understood. We rush through our email compositions so fast that sometimes the results are incoherent. Here is an email I saw recently:

Team Members When providing transportation for clients the office to call is 555-7395 on weekends 555-2488 if no answer on Tuesdays 555-3850. Extension 322.

This could mean anything, and your team members will have no idea what they're supposed to do. Be clear in your mind what you are trying to say, and place punctuation accordingly. 

Team Members: When providing transportation for clients, call the main number at 555-7395. On weekends, call 555-2488. On Tuesdays, if there is no answer at the main number, call 555-3850, extension 322.

Just this little bit of thought will help the team members get to the right place.

Tags: grammar, punctuation, run-on sentences, commas, business emails

Natalie Goldberg on Punctuation

"A period was a heavy anchor for Philip, and he stopped and rested when he reached one. Punctuation had real significance. It signaled the beginning and end of thought.

'And if punctuation is about thought,' I thought, 'then in order to punctuate, we have to know our mind, to know what we think, and when one thought stops and the other begins. We have to understand the journey of thought, how thought moves around in our mind.'"

                          Natalie Goldberg, Wild Mind


Tags: Natalie Goldberg, Punctuation, Wild Mind

                                                                         

Is it Poetry, or PowerPoint?

Lately I've seen a lot of weirdly placed capital letters. In memos, emails, and on websites - there will be a capital letter in the middle of of sentence for no reason. Another variation is a return in the middle of a sentence with a capital letter starting the new line. And sometimes strange returns.

Here are some examples - and it's like this weird plague that seems to be spreading:


Team Members:
Please remember to place your Umbrellas in the hall, not in the office. Yesterday we had
Someone fall because the office floor was slippery.

I've been trying to figure out why this is happening. Are we inadvertently using PowerPoint or headline styles? And are we forgetting to proofread stuff before sending it out?

When proofing your memo, remember that nouns are generally not capitalized in the middle of sentences. And watch out for Word auto-correcting by adding capital letters willy nilly.


(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: PowerPoint, headline, styles, auto-correct, capital letters, proofreading, writing

Pitfalls of Word's Defaults

Word likes to anticipate your faults and make you look illiterate. One of the ways it does this is to capitalize things indiscriminately. The result is often capitalized words in the middle of sentences, making it look like you never learned that a period ends a sentence and a capitalized letter begins a new sentence. 

1. Word will automatically capitalize the first letter of the next word after a period. But you may be putting in a period for reasons other than ending a sentence - like a dot-com situation, or an a.m./p.m notation. Be sure you proofread everything you send out, checking specifically for this. (Different versions of Word do this differently.)

2. Better yet, go into Word and click on "Review." Right-click on "Spelling and Grammar." Click on "Customize Quick Access Toolbar." Look in the left column, and left-click on "Proofing." Left-click on "Auto Correct Options." Uncheck "Capitalize first letter of sentences." Click "OK." Click "OK" again.

3. Now you have to remember to capitalize the first letter of each sentence. But we've been doing that since first grade; I don't think it will be a problem. And the good news is, Word will not be messing with the interior of your sentences.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: Word, capitalization, spelling, grammar, proofreading, punctuation