Let's examine this #1 offender:
"We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."
Could this possibly be any more offensive? Let's break it down.
We apologize... - Using the pronoun "we" is like saying, "It wasn't me, it was other people. I personally don't even know how to turn on a woodchipper. I don't even know what a woodchipper is."
"for any inconvenience..." - The word "any" leaves it open as to exactly how much inconvenience there actually was. Maybe not too much. And the word "inconvenience" is both a euphemism and a cliche. It's like saying, "I may have put your foot into my woodchipper when it was grinding down a giant elm, and on the off-chance that it might have made you the teeniest bit cranky, hey, we understand that you're too emotional."
"this may have caused;..." - means "We totally think you're lying about your foot being shredded when we put it through our woodchipper, but our lawyers have written up this statement to keep you from suing us."
If you've done something to upset someone, you will make the situation worse by using insincere, cliche-ridden lawyer-speak. Corporate media people, please take notice.
(c) 2016 Suzann Kale
