The Universe Has Used Up Its Apostrophe Allowance

There is a wide-spread mythological belief system that says there should be an apostrophe anywhere you see the letter "s". It can go before, after, around, or anywhere near this s.

Although this myth is completely untrue, people keep writing things like this:

Family Practice Healthcare is opened Monday’s and Tuesday’s, and the dental care Wednesday’s and Thursday’s. They will no longer see patient's at the downtown buildings.

The tall ones' are for beer.

The phone numbers' for all the new barista's are behind the counter.

It's an apostrophe catastrophe.


Possessive
Use an apostrophe if something belongs to someone. Like: This is Ryan's personal wallet that he owns. (Note that owns does not have an apostrophe.)

Use an apostrophe if a group owns something. Like: The Men's Gardening Center. Or The children's lunchroom.

Just because something is plural does not entitle it to an apostrophe. The children's library cards. (Not The children's library card's.)

Apostrophes indicate ownership.


Contractions
Apostrophes also indicate that a word is contracted. You can say: It's happy hour in Newfoundland because It's is the contraction of It is. You cannot say: Its almost time for your surgery. (Should be: It's almost time.)

When you use an apostrophe to indicate a contraction, the apostrophe is put where the missing letter would be. Like M'am, which is short for Madame. Or let's which is short for let us.

Apostrophes indicate a missing letter.

(c) 2015 Suzann Kale

 

The Case for Clarity

If you have to send out two more memos to explain your original memo, you have a problem with clarity. 

The best way to make sure your memo is clear is to have someone proofread it. Spellcheck and Grammarcheck won't help you here. Only a fresh set of human eyes will do it.

You are just too involved in what you're saying to be objective about how you say it.

Recently the CEO of a large organization sent out an email request for people to sign up for a survey. His instructions were:

We in Senior Management have the greatest respect for all of our Employees. Our vision is to support the community, to care for our employees and their Families, and to deliver the very best customer service and to help those in need. Therefore, we are asking you, our employees, to log into the survey at the end of this Email, so you can tell us about your opinion's. It is understodd that We respect your confidentiality entirely.

Say what? Senior Management needs to give this email to someone to proofread before sending it out to 1500 employees. Here's how it should have read:

Senior Management cares about your opinions. Please log on to the survey at the end of this email, and let us know what you think. We will keep your answers confidential.

Sigh. 

(c)2015 Suzann Kale

Grammar Master Quiz

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Just Saying

Dear Bank of xxxxxxxxx:

Thank you for your email alerting me to the weekend outage for Bill Pay. However, it's important, when sending information to your customers, to use correct grammar. 

You wrote: "During this time, Bill Pay will be unavailable however payments made Fridayevening and throughout the day Monday will be processed normally..." 

Who wrote this? Why didn't anyone proofread it before sending it out to your customers? 

After "...will be unavailable" there should be a period - and the word "however" should begin a new sentence, which means it should be capitalized. After "however" there should be a comma. It should read: "During this time, Bill Pay will be unavailable. However, payments made Friday evening and throughout the day Monday will be processed normally..."

This is basic grade school English. As a Bank of xxxxxxxx customer, I would hope that you guys know how to write basic sentences.

Sorry if I seem harsh. This is just worrisome.

Sincerely,

Tags: Businss Writing, Editing, Grammar, Proofreading, Punctuation

Beware of Spellcheck

Here are some of the mix-ups that Spellcheck won't find for you:

• chose / choose
• accept /except
• their /there
• lose /loose
• who's / whose
• lose / loose
• then / than
• further / farther
• their / there
• insure / ensure
• breath / breathe

What else?

Insure vs Ensure

According to The New York Times, "insure" is used in all instances. I don't think "ensure" is even a word to them. Yet other style protocols, Writer's Digest for example, use "insure" for financial things and "ensure" for personal accountability things (Admin wants to ensure your happiness.).

The main criteria for an individual, then, would be: 

1. Consistency. Just like spelling "theater" or "theatre". Decide which you're going to use, and then keep to it.

2. Company policy. If your company has a style sheet, that's your guide.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: grammar, spelling, syntax, insure vs ensure

Office Emails with Multiple Subjects

Something to consider, if you are writing a long email that contains a number of subjects: It may be easier for the recipient to process if you send a separate email for each subject. So instead of 1 long email with 3 different ideas, you might try 3 short emails. This makes it easier for the recipient to file, if they're filing by subject matter. And easier for you to do follow-ups on your projects.

(c)2014 Suzann Kale

Tags: business writing, editing, writing styles, emails, business emails